im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
