I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
