so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
