I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
