My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize