i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize