I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
