He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You were trust falling into bushes
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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