She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
