By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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