David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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