3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
