over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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