season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
