Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
