Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We don't watch enough power rangers
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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