Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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