I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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