okay pat passed out under dana's car
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
