atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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