Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
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well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
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I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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