wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
