you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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