Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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