You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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