i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize