Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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