Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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