she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
is wine microwaveable?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
