Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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