Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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