lets start a swedish sibling band together
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
