I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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