eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I could fuck to npr.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
