I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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