ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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