I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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