I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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