1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
