wanna go halves on a baby?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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