This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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