how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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