don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
