oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
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You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
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you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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