He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
