I need help removing her.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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