i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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