operation have a gay friend backfired
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You pole danced in your parka.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
