So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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