Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
