did you get engaged???
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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