Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
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Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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