last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
