Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
