member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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