is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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