i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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