found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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