Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
this boner is exhausting
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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