Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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