Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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