Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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