I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
