Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
