Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
