no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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