It's like a parade of train wrecks.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
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Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
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The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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