I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And then my night got REAL pukey
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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